Coronavirus top 20 playlist: Rock the pandemic

Bored out of your skull because you’re stuck at home with nothing to do during the coronavirus pandemic? Yeah, me too. So, having nothing better to do, I decided to assemble a personal COVID-19 playlist to help fellow stuck-at-home virus-haters pass the time.

My music of choice tends to be rock, so this is a rock playlist. If you want to listen to Adele or Garth Brooks or Tupac or Kanye West or Taylor Swift, uh … sorry.

20

Photograph by Def Leppard

1983, Pyromania

Key lyric: “All I’ve got is a photograph. I want to touch you.” Great song if you’re separated from your significant other and lamenting how much social distancing sucks.

19

Doctor Doctor by UFO

1974, Phenomenon

Key lyric: “She walked up to me and really stole my heart. And then she started to take my body apart.” This is why you don’t date during a pandemic. (Not to be confused with the Robert Palmer tune. This one rocks harder, which is why it made my list.

18

Three Little Pigs
by Green Jelly

1992, Cereal Killer

Key lyric: “Little pig, little pig, let me in. Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.” And that, my friend, is how you keep people from invading your space. (And if that doesn’t work, the lyrics suggest your next step: call Rambo).

17

Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi

1988, New Jersey

Key lyric: “There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease.” Yeah, I know, this is one of those songs comparing love/infatuation with an incurable sickness. But I had to include it because the title fit Donald Trump’s idiotic ideas about injecting bleach and prescribing untested medicine (hydroxychloroquine) all too well.

16

The Sound of Silence
By Disturbed

2015, Immortalized

Key lyric: “And in the naked light I saw, ten thousand people, maybe more: people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening…” Because everything’s virtual now. This is, of course, a cover of the classic Simon & Garfunkel track, but somehow, Disturbed did it better. The sound of silence can now be heard in arenas and stadiums all across the country.

15

No Matter What
by Lillian Axe

1992, Poetic Justice

Key lyric: “No matter what you are, I will always be with you.” Another cover. This one was originally done (well) by Badfinger, but this more-metal version kicks Axe. How many of us don’t want to “knock down the old gray wall” and “be a part of it all” in the middle of this crisis?

14

Fight from the Inside
by Queen

1977, News of the World

Key lyric: “You gotta fight from the inside.” That’s what most of us are doing these days. “You think that out in the streets is all free.” But being out in the streets isn’t such a good idea with that virus floating around. This hard-rocking deep cut’s a hidden gem off one of Queen’s best releases.

13

Blackout by Scorpions

1982, Blackout (title track)

Key lyric: “I got lost in a deep black hole. Don't want to find out. Just want to cut out.” Sound familiar?

12

Remedy by Black Crows

1992, The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion

Key lyric: “All I want is a remedy.” A vaccine would be nice, too.

11

Epic by Faith No More

1990, The Real Thing

Key lyric: “You want it all, but you can’t have it. It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it.” No, you can’t. You’ve gotta stay inside. Sucks to be you.

10

Livin’ on the Edge
by Aerosmith

1993, Get a Grip

Key lyric: “There's somethin' wrong with the world today, I don't know what it is… Tell me what you think about your situation: Complication, aggravation is getting to you.” Sounds about right. If a pandemic doesn’t put you on edge (and on THE edge) what will?

9

COMA by GUNS N’ ROSES

1991, Use Your Illusion I

Key lyric: “There were always ample warnings. There were always subtle signs. And you would have seen it coming. But we gave you too much time.” (U.S. government response?) Also: “All I needed was clarity, and someone to tell me what the fuck is going on. Goddamn it.” My favorite cut from the Gn’R catalog, an epic 10-minute cut that describes a coma from the patient’s point of view.

8

Change or Die by Papa Roach

2009, Metamorphosis

Key lyric: “Are you sick of just getting by? … Change or die!” Pretty much what we have to do. Ironically, it’s what the virus has to do, too. It’s got to mutate fast enough to stay ahead of any treatment we might develop. The album title, Metamorphosis, says it all.

7

Isolation
by Jeff Beck/Johnny Depp

2020, single

Key lyric: “We're afraid of everyone. Afraid of the sun. Isolation.” This collaboration from the guitar legend and Captain Jack Sparrow was actually released during the crisis, but it was written by John Lennon back in the 1970s. It may be hard to imagine, but (with apologies to the Beatle genius), the Beck-Depp version is better. Said Beck: “Given all the hard days and true ‘isolation’ that people are going through in these challenging times, we decided now might be the right time to let you all hear it.” Can’t argue with that.

6

Sick for the Cure
by Cinderella

1990, Heartbreak Station

Key lyric: “Sick for the cure on this roller coaster ride… I just wanna be free, free like the wind.” With all the projections, daily updates, encouragement tempered by words of warning, it sure has been a roller coaster ride. Wanna be free again? Don’t we all!

5

Virus by Memphis May Fire

2017, Virus (title track)

Key lyric: “This poison fills my lungs, but I won't let it fill my soul… You’re just a virus, and I didn’t come here to die.” The kind of defiant anthem for those who have dealt with the virus on a personal level: “When I fight, I remember why I'm still alive. I'm holding onto what is left inside.”

4

Sick as a Dog by Aerosmith

1976, Rocks

Key lyric: “Sick as a dog. What’s your story? Sick as a dog. Cat got your tongue. Sick as a dog. You’ll be sorry. ’Cause you really ain’t that young.” Yeah, if you’re over 60, you’d better watch out. Steven Tyler and Tom Hamilton wrote this long before the pandemic, and it has nothing to do with the coronavirus, but it sure as hell seems to fit.

3

Down with the Sickness
by Disturbed

2000, The Sickness

Key lyric: “I can see inside you, the sickness is rising. Don't try to deny what you feel. (Will you give in to me?)… It seems you're having some trouble in dealing with these changes, living with these changes (oh no). The world is a scary place.” It sure is. “You feel that? Ah, shit.” Singer David Draiman even sounds like he’s going to cough up a lung. A little too close to home, but still a great cut.

2

Cure Me or Kill Me
by Gilby Clarke

1994, Pawn Shop Guitars

Key lyric: “Cure me. Or Kill me. But don't leave me here for dead. Again.” Feel like you’re stuck in limbo because of this damned virus? If so, this the perfect cut to rock out to. For the uninitiated, Gilby Clarke replaced Izzy Stradlin in Guns N’ Roses before the band imploded. Then he put out a solo album with this as the lead single. More than a quarter-century later, it’s note-perfect.

1

Epidemic by New Year’s Day

2014, Epidemic EP (title track)

Key lyric: “We are infected and no one is protected … There's no cure for what's in us … Now there's poison on our tongues. This epidemic's gonna kill us all.” The song’s really about cynicism and judgmentalism. It’s perfect in describing both the COVID-19 crisis and the political idiocy and finger-pointing that persists in spite of the fact we’re all fighting for our lives.

I’m sure I’ve missed some, but those are my favorites. Feel free to contact me with any you think should be on the list.

Rock on and stay safe.

Hey protester, no mask? Go play in the NFL without a helmet

People are stupid.

Case in point: a CNN article headlined “Face masks have become America's new fault line.”

Here’s the stupid part: Many of the people who want to go out in public are the ones refusing to wear the masks. I find this downright mystifying. There’s no argument that coronavirus is dangerous, and that you can catch it through the air. So why would people who want to go out more often be the same ones who not wearing masks?

For a long time, the CDC was, inexplicably, telling people not to wear masks — even though this was standard operating procedure during the Spanish flu of 1918, and it’s just common sense that a barrier would lower the risk of contracting it.

The CDC finally changed this “guidance” to encourage masks April 3, more than a month after the crisis came to light. Better late than never, I suppose, except for the thousands who became infected during that month. Maybe the CDC got tired of hearing people like me wonder why moms everywhere tell their kids to cover their mouths when they cough, but the CDC somehow didn’t believe a barrier would be effective.

Bizarre.

Even more bizarre, however, is the fact that those who want to loosen stay-at-home restrictions are the same ones flouting the CDC’s current, rational device by refusing to wear face masks.

Has the COVID-19 mess cost you money, maybe even your job? I get why you’re upset. Sick of staying at home all the time? Stir crazy? I get that, too.

But if you do go out, why the hell don’t you wear a mask? Refusing to wear a mask isn’t a protest. It’s just plain stupid.

And reckless. Why not go walking around naked while you’re at it. Makes just as much sense in times like these.

Imagine if the NFL decided to protest a governor’s orders not to play football games by telling its players to suit up anyway. “But, oh yeah, don’t wear a helmet. We’re going to play without ’em to protest the government trying to tell us what to do. What’s that? You’re afraid you might get a concussion? Too bad. Suck it up.”

Except there’s a difference: Concussions aren’t contagious.

Protest, but wear a mask

If I wanted to defy the government and go out on some nonessential errand, that’s precisely when I would wear a mask. The mask has nothing to do with some government edict. It has everything to do with not getting sick.

It wouldn’t be the government infecting me if I caught COVID-19. It would be the stinkin’ virus. And that virus wouldn’t give even half a damn whether I was protesting or not.

Protester: “I’ll show the government!”

Virus: “I’ll show that protester! Hehehehe!”

Some people resent being told what to do. I get that, too. But rebelling against arbitrary authority is one thing; rebelling against common sense is another. If the government is telling you to do something that actually makes sense, defiance is not only pointless, it’s (I’ll use that word again) stupid. The NFL does, in fact, insist that players wear helmets. But you don’t see players trying to take the field without them just because they don’t like being told what to do.

That’s childish. And stupid.

If you’re stupid enough to let yourself get infected while engaging in one of these protests, that’s on you. No sympathy here, dude. Problem is, you might infect someone else, and that’s not just stupid, it’s gross negligence.

In fact, people like you are part of the reason I’d be wearing a mask in public, whether or not the government required it.

If you can’t comprehend that I’d be protecting myself, just look at it as a form of protest.

A protest against your stupidity.

This guy’s not stupid. He just had his helmet knocked off. Protesters wearing masks don’t have that excuse. They’re not going to get a concussion, but are they brain damaged?