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Stephen H. Provost is an author of paranormal adventures and historical non-fiction. “Memortality” is his debut novel on Pace Press, set for release Feb. 1, 2017.

An editor and columnist with more than 30 years of experience as a journalist, he has written on subjects as diverse as history, religion, politics and language and has served as an editor for fiction and non-fiction projects. His book “Fresno Growing Up,” a history of Fresno, California, during the postwar years, is available on Craven Street Books. His next non-fiction work, “Highway 99: The History of California’s Main Street,” is scheduled for release in June.

For the past two years, the editor has served as managing editor for an award-winning weekly, The Cambrian, and is also a columnist for The Tribune in San Luis Obispo.

He lives on the California coast with his wife, stepson and cats Tyrion Fluffybutt and Allie Twinkletail.

Q is a Democrat spy, and anti-maskers have been played

On Life

Ruminations and provocations.

Q is a Democrat spy, and anti-maskers have been played

Stephen H. Provost

What if the anti-vax, no-mask movement was been instigated by spies for the Democratic Party sent to do an inside job with a single, nefarious goal: to destroy the conservative movement.

Think about it.

Who benefits from COVID running rampant through red states and rural areas dominated by Republican voters? It sure as hell ain’t Republicans. First they refused to wear masks; now they’re not getting vaccinated, either. So naturally, they’re the ones getting sick. It’s the Democrats who are laughing all the way to the voting booth.

Ask yourself what would happen if the Democrats could convince Republicans to make each other sick. They’d either kill each other off, or they’d be so sick they wouldn’t be able to vote.

More food for thought: No one knows who Q is. What if he (or she or it) is a cabal of Democrats planting anti-vax propaganda — and convincing Republicans that wearing a mask was something only socialists do. “You don’t want people to think you’re one of them, do you?”

None of this affects Democrats much. Since Republicans stay away from Democrats as though they’re lepers, they only wind up infecting each other.

This is war, right? Republicans hate Democrats, and Democrats hate Republicans, and they’re both entrenched behind their respective lines. So here’s a war analogy for you:

The best way to defeat an enemy is to make them think they aren’t in danger. Just get them to lower their guard at the moment when they’re the most vulnerable, and attack. Or better yet, simply let nature take its course and do the job for you. That’s what’s happening here.

All the Dems would have to do to reinforce such a secret strategy would be to suggest that people get vaccinated — knowing that Republicans would immediately do the exact opposite of whatever they advised!

It’s reverse psychology at its finest. Don’t drink that glass of poison, my dear enemy. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. What could be easier?

Sure enough, all 16 states that met the July 4 goal of having 70 percent or more of their adult population vaccinated voted for Joe Biden.

More numbers: A full 57 percent of Republicans think the pandemic is over, so they’ve basically given the “all clear” sign to the Delta variant, while just 4 percent of Democrats do. Who’s more likely to survive: Someone who’s vigilant against a dangerous threat, or someone who’s kicking back thinking everything’s OK when it’s really not?

Of course, this is all just a satire of conspiracy theories, right? Republicans couldn’t really be stupid enough to fall for something like this, could they?

Then again, could they be stupid enough to bring it all on themselves?

One way or the other, it’s happening, and as the saying goes, stupid is as stupid does. When it comes right down to it, if Republicans end up making each other sick because they won’t get a shot or wear a mask, they have nothing but their own stupidity to blame.