Critics miss the point, and the charm, of Downey's "Dolittle"

Hey, critics, guess what? You aren’t my parents.

You weren’t there to take care of me when I got sick, and you weren’t there when my first girlfriend broke up with me. My parents taught me to think critically, but they also encouraged me to dream: They never told me my imaginary dragon friend wasn’t real or that I should put down The Hobbit and pick up War and Peace.

Which brings me to Robert Downey Jr.’s Dolittle, the latest adaptation of Hugh Lofting’s novels about a physician who can talk to animals.

The critics hate it. I mean they really hate it. As of this writing, critics have given it a 19% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But here’s the thing. Audiences don’t hate it – not at all. So far, they’ve given it a 76% rating.

It isn’t unusual for audiences on RT to like movies more than the critics do. But the spread is usually more like 10 percentage points. So, what’s going on here?

Here’s my hypothesis: Critics have become so jaded and “grown-up,” they’ve forgotten how to think like kids. Jokes that kids enjoy are dismissed as “juvenile,” and themes that appeal to kids are either simplistic or ignored altogether.

The themes addressed in Dolittle include:

• Learning to work together and appreciate each other despite our differences (Yoshi the polar bear and Plimpton the ostrich).

• Overcoming fear to stand up for ourselves and our friends (Chee-Chee the gorilla).

• Looking for the hurt behind someone’s bitterness and anger (the constipated dragon).

Perhaps most telling is the film’s message about grief, and moving past the cynicism it can cause in order to help others.

No wonder critics don’t like this film: Most of them are cynical by nature.

I suspect most of them were prepared to dislike this movie for a couple of reasons. First of all, word leaked out that the movie had been delayed for extensive reshoots after the film did poorly with test audiences. So, critics were looking for inconsistencies from the get-go and wound up labeling the film jumbled and disjointed.

But it’s not either of those things. There’s nothing difficult to follow about it, the plot is clear, and it moves quickly from scene to scene without any of the bloated storytelling that sank the first Dolittle adaptation, the 1967 musical featuring Rex Harrison.

Second, it’s geared toward a family audience. Remember, we’re dealing with an industry that almost never uses the “G” rating anymore because it’s considered the kiss of death: Not “edgy” enough; too “childish.”

Mistaking child-friendly for childish is something critics seem predisposed to do, and that’s a huge mistake. When it comes down to it, the messages you’ll find in Dolittle are the kind of messages good parents teach their kids. They also serve as reminders to adults who can become exhausted and even lost as we navigate a challenging, difficult world.

They’re the kind of messages that go down best with a spoonful of sugary sweetness. That’s not a quality critics like. But in a world often defined by conflict, defensiveness and fatalism, it’s precisely what we need – whether we’re kids or adults.

Mild spoiler: There’s a scene in which Dolittle encounters a bitter old tiger named Barry who’s always been told he isn’t good enough. The Doctor’s treatment? Reflect a bit of sunlight on the floor and have Barry chase it around like a kitten. On the surface, it’s a simple device to distract the tiger from attacking our hero; but it’s also a metaphor for the lost innocence of childhood.

That’s one reason this is actually a good film: It encourages us, like Barry the Tiger, to put aside our bitterness and play at being a child again.

Critics either missed this or don’t care, but audiences get it.

An approval rating of 76 percent isn’t perfect, and neither is the movie. Robert Downey Jr.’s weird accent makes him sound like he’s hoarse or whispering half the time. And at one point, he states there’s no map to their destination – so it’s a surprise to see the characters consulting maps later on. The villain, played by Michael Sheen, appears to have been left behind on the open sea, but somehow arrives at the island ahead of Dolittle.

But these things are quibbles when measured against the movie’s overall tone, which is upbeat and hopeful: something we could use a lot more of these days. Downey plays Dolittle as a very quirky but very human character, striking a good balance between lighthearted fun and insight into the human condition.

It’s also worth noting that this Dolittle film, at least so far, has easily the best audience rating of any Dolittle film on Rotten Tomatoes. Its 76% rating compares to a 57% mark for the 1967 film, a 34% rating for Eddie Murphy’s 1998 remake, and a 26% showing for Murphy’s sequel three years later. Three further sequels in the Murphy movies (without Murphy), garnered scores of 45, 45 and 52%.

The takeaway: Downey’s version scores nearly 20 points better than any of the others among audiences.

But critics somehow think it’s the worst.

Can we say, “Out of touch”?

George Bernard Shaw wrote that “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” I’d add this: “Those who can’t do either one, criticize.” Teaching requires in-depth knowledge of a process that can be passed along to students; criticism requires just one thing: an opinion.

Well, to quote Dirty Harry Callahan: “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.”

In this case, critics seem to have more than their share. I’ll take a constipated dragon over a constipated critic any day.